Overthinking as a new mom? You're NOT alone. If your brain feels like it’s running a 24/7 Google search on everything from "is my baby eating enough?" to "will they remember that one time I didn't hear them crying?"—you’re not alone.
Postpartum can have a way of making even the smallest decisions feel overwhelming. And the more you try to “logic” your way out of it, the more tangled up in your thoughts you get. The good news? There are real, practical ways to quiet your mind and break the cycle of overthinking. Here are 7 therapist-approved strategies to help you feel calmer and more in control.
1. Notice When You’re in the Overthinking Spiral
Overthinking can sneak up on you. One second, you’re checking if your baby’s diaper is wet, and the next, you’re spiraling into What if they’re dehydrated? What if I didn’t drink enough water while breastfeeding? And suddenly, you're deep in an anxiety rabbit hole.
The first step in stopping overthinking is catching it in the act. The next time you feel your mind spinning, pause and ask yourself:➡️ Am I trying to solve a real problem, or am I stuck in “what-if” mode?➡️ Is this a thought I’ve had before?➡️ Will thinking about this actually lead to a solution?
Awareness is key. Once you recognize the pattern, you can step back and redirect your thoughts instead of letting them run the show.
2. Set a “Worry Window”
If your brain loves to latch onto worries at all hours, try scheduling time to overthink on purpose. Yes, really. Pick a time each day—say, 10 minutes after lunch—where you allow yourself to think about anything that’s been nagging at you. Write your worries down, let yourself feel them, and then move on. If an anxious thought pops up later? Tell yourself, I’ll deal with this during my worry window. This works because it gives your brain a designated space for worry without letting it take over your entire day. Of course this is easier said than done, but it's always worth a try to see if it works for you.
3. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
Overthinking keeps you stuck in your head. One of the fastest ways to learn how to stop overthinking as a new mom is to engage your body.
Take three deep breaths (inhale for four, hold for seven, exhale for eight).
Stretch your arms over your head and do a few neck rolls.
Stand up and shake out your hands like you’re shaking off the overthinking.
Hold something cold (like an ice pack) or run your hands under cool water—this signals to your brain to shift focus.
Moving your body helps disrupt the overthinking loop and pulls you back into the present moment.
4. Swap “What If?” for “What Is?”
Overthinking thrives on what-ifs:
What if my baby isn’t hitting milestones fast enough?
What if I made the wrong choice sleep training?
What if they grow up and resent me?
Instead of spiraling, try shifting to what is. Ask yourself:
What is actually happening right now?
What do I know to be true in this moment?
What would I tell a friend who was thinking this?
Example: Instead of “What if my baby isn’t eating enough?”, try “Right now, my baby is drinking milk, has wet diapers, and seems content.” This small shift brings you back to reality instead of getting lost in worst-case scenarios.
5. Limit Information Overload
Google, TikTok, and mom Facebook groups can be a double-edged sword. One search for “baby sleep regressions” can lead you down a rabbit hole of conflicting advice, worst-case scenarios, and a whole new list of things to overthink.
Here’s the fix: Give yourself a limit.
Pick one or two trusted sources and stick with them. (Your pediatrician, a therapist, a book, a mom friend.)
Set a time limit for research. (Example: “I’ll give myself 10 minutes to read about this, and then I’ll stop.”)
Remind yourself: More information doesn’t always mean more clarity.
6. Create a “Good Enough” Rule
Overthinkers tend to hold themselves to impossible standards. (I have to make the perfect decision for my baby at all times!) But parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about being good enough.
Try this mindset shift:
Instead of asking, “What’s the best choice?”, ask “What’s a good enough choice?”
Instead of “What if I mess this up?”, try “Is my baby safe, loved, and cared for? Then I’m doing just fine.”
Instead of “Am I failing?”, remind yourself: “My baby doesn’t need a perfect mom, just a present one.”
Perfection isn’t the goal—being a loving, responsive parent is. And guess what? You’re already doing that.
7. Treat Yourself Like You’d Treat Your Best Friend
If your best friend came to you and said, “I feel like I’m messing up as a mom”, would you tell her, “Yeah, you probably are”? No way! You’d reassure her, remind her she’s doing great, and tell her to give herself some grace.
Now ask yourself: Why don’t you do the same for yourself?
The next time you catch yourself overthinking, pause and ask:
Would I say this to a friend?
What would I say instead?
How can I offer myself the same kindness?
Because at the end of the day, you’re doing the best you can—and that is more than enough.
How to Stop Overthinking as A New Mom Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This
Overthinking as a new mom is so normal. Your brain is trying to keep your baby safe, but it doesn’t always know when to hit the brakes. These strategies can help you slow down, get out of the overthinking loop, and actually enjoy motherhood instead of second-guessing yourself at every turn.
Remember: Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mom—they just need you. And you? You’re doing an incredible job.
Want More Support?
If this resonates with you, check out my free postpartum mental health guide or book a session with me here (MA or NJ only). If you're outside of MA or NJ, check out www.postpartum.net. You don’t have to figure this all out alone.
Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. If you are experiencing significant distress, please consult a licensed mental health professional.
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